May 7, 2020

Real Housewives of Beverly Hills Recap, Season 14 Episode 4

This week, as every week, the rich women of Rich Women Doing Things did things. They drank green juice and posed for the paparazzi; they told their 11-year-old future-underwear-model sons they are too young for Gucci; they reminded us of their husbands’ big dicks. But I don’t want to start talking about them just yet. First we need to appreciate my favorite new character on this here broadcast: stoned Mauricio. Whether or not he is always stoned, I don’t know, but I have decided to see Kyle’s husband as always stoned because, well, he acts it. Kyle is trying to tell him about a fight she is having with Dorit (sigh), and instead of paying attention to her, he is staring at the dog because she is doing “funny things” in the bathroom. Hashtag relatable. More of this please. And look for The Agency edibles in a California dispensary near you any day now.

Mostly what the Rich Women did this episode was fight about Teddi’s retreat at the Surf and Sun hotel, which is actually in Orange County, which puts them more firmly in Vicki Gunvalson’s backyard than it does in Lisa Vanderpump’s. Maybe that’s why everyone is so annoyed about going and why Kyle, Erika, and Sutton had to get up at 5 a.m. to be there on time. Teddi says that she wanted every moment of the day booked, but there’s only a boxing class, lunch, a whole host of downtime, some guided “mindful meditation,” and then a dinner. Easy, peasy, wheatgrass extract with lemon squeezy.

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